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Biscuit (Noun) : A person who is willfully ignorant and almost certainly incompetent

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News!

Unless you watch CNN or More Stuff Not Being Correct (MSNBC) you are aware that yesterday President Dementia fell down while trying to ascend the stairs of Air Force Once. Not once, but three times. It’s not funny and frankly it’s hard to watch at this point.

One of my loyal readers told me he was not willing to throw stones because at age sixty something he is no stranger to falling down. I told him that’s fine but he’s not the leader of the free world either.

The white house was quick to chime in with an explanation of course – it was windy! Of course anyone watching the video sees the marine guards at the bottom of the stairs not needing to hold on to their hats as the wind didn’t have jack shit to do with it.

Hasbro, makers of the long loved game Monopoly announced this week that the game would be getting a socially conscious makeover. The Community Chest cards referencing winning a beauty contest and holiday funds apparently are far too offensive these days so Hasbro is asking for fans to vote on new cards that are more “community oriented.” Potential new cards include “shopping local” and “rescuing a puppy.” Who cares I guess as long as I get to be the race car.

The Biden Administration fired five white house staffers for using marijuana in the past. Unfortunately they had forgotten that soon to be President Kamala Harris had said she smoked pot and had to answer a bunch of questions about that. Oops.

Democrats beat up on President Trump because they have nothing better to do by railing on about an inspector general report that noted there were fraud and errors found in the administration’s Paycheck Protection Program. They pointed in particular to a finding that 104 different borrowers received more than one loan. If you ask me it’s a miracle they only found 104. Who would think, fraud and waste in a government program? Say it isn’t so! No mention of course of the millions of employees the program helped continue to get paid during a pandemic and the fact that the administration was willing to sacrifice some controls to get it out as fast as humanly possible. I’m sure the Democrats recent legislation is full of tight controls and oversight so that fraud and errors simply cannot occur.

Meanwhile in Florida you can’t even be safe working the drive through at the Popeye’s. Don’t mess with a girl’s chicken sandwich.

Maybe they do need $15 an hour to put up with that shit.

The media’s most recent obsession is violence against Asian Americans. They were quick of course to blame Trump, because you know, reasons. It’s despicable that there is violence against anyone in this country but how is this just now becoming a problem? Did the dreaded white supremacists just wake up a month ago and have a Zoom meeting where they voted to start beating up Asians? What are they trying to distract us from, because it smells fishy to me. Again, we denounce violence against other people here but the skeptic in me feels it’s somehow deeper than it seems.

Lastly and what may have been the most humorous moment of the week was when White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki had a Freudian slip. As we know they administration has been very careful not to use the word “crisis” when referring to the surge of migrants at our southern border. It is instead a “challenge” that is “being managed” and of course it’s all Trump’s fault anyway. In her press briefing on Thursday Psaki called it a crisis, and even the Biden friendly press was quick to jump on that and ask what had changed. It’s amusing watching how fast she tries to walk it back.

Did we miss anything good this week? Let me know in the comments below!

1 thought on “News!”

  1. I think I’m going to find a hole along the beach, kneel down and put my head in the sand. Life in these United States is becoming too depressing and another 3 years and 10 months will only make me more despondent. I picked a fine time to stop sniffing glue.

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