Biscuit (Noun) : A person who is willfully ignorant and almost certainly incompetent

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Biscuit of the Week!

Wow what a tough week. Who knew when I decided to start a weekly winner of top Biscuit that the decision would be so hard? So many options! Gorilla Glue Girl certainly got consideration. Mark Cuban, well, duh. The entire Democrat party for wasting tax dollars on a trial that we all know ends in acquittal (again)?

Well in the end I looked at our definition of biscuit – someone who is willfully ignorant and almost certainly incompetent. And to me that made one person stand out above the crowd. Meet, and I use this term loosely, journalist Virginia Heffernan.

Sorry if I looked at this picture and the first thing I thought was “let me guess, Trump is not her President.” Well in this case turns out that was true – and then some.

Virginia wrote an opinion piece in the LA Times over how horribly gut-wrenching of a situation she was facing: The fact that her Trump supporting neighbors shoveled her driveway – out of kindness.

You should probably go back and read that sentence again.

If you would really like to scratch your head quite a bit you can torture yourself by reading her article here:

There are a couple of things right away you need to zero in on. First, Virginia normally lives in the city. She reveals that wherever this place is that she’s living is her “pandemic getaway.” From the picture in the article it appears to be one hell of a house in the mountains. Translation: Damn I’m rich and can go rent a giant house in a ski area to avoid the city and just let poor people get the Covid. And where in the hell is that kid who is supposed to have delivered my groceries by now?

Second, getting to know her neighbors at all isn’t high on her priority list. She notes that her “trumpite” neighbors “seem” to be “devoted” to the ex-president. They are also “staunch partisans of blue lives.” Translation: These people have the nerve to actually support the police. But that one little word … seem. Hmm.

Let me take a wild guess here, her neighbors have yard signs and or flags which of course immediately makes them racist, homophobic transgender-hating rednecks with no college education. No need to try and find out, they literally put the signs out front so you’ll know. And apparently they own a snow plow. Christ, perish the thought, I wonder if these people actually do physical labor for a living?

Now that we’ve established that, here is Virginia’s gut-wrenching, brain obliterating, emotional disaster of a decision which she struggles with throughout the entire article: How much thanks does she owe her kind neighbors who shoveled her driveway for free?

The struggle is apparently real, especially when you’re a biscuit.

She dives in by idiotically suggesting that when white people gather “amongst their own” that they give stuff to each other – get this – for free! How could that be an issue you ask? Well, she’ll tell ya!

You know who else gives each other stuff for free? Hezbollah! That’s right not even half way through this article exposing the lunatic thinking of a leftist she is comparing helpful neighbors to a Shiite military group.

She laments how completely ridiculous her neighbor’s behavior is by saying “back in the city people don’t sweep other people’s walkways for nothing.” Well Virginia, perhaps you are living in the wrong place, but someone on your high perch will never be able to see that from the clouds below your feet.

Of course no good leftist article can ever be complete without bringing in – you guessed it – the Nazis! She rounds out her thinking by referencing those dastardly denizens of evil by recalling a story of how they used “politeness” to weave their way into acceptance by the French whose lands and homes they occupied. Oh my God they’ve figured it out, Trump supporting Republicans are using kindness to infiltrate and take over the government and society!

At this point we’ll just stop, because really it’s almost too ridiculous to give this bitch much more space in my head. This article was easy to write simply because the stupidity level is off the chart. It does, however, lead to a much more important article I’m struggling with but hope to also publish today, about how exactly the kind of thinking going on here is destroying us.

Congrats Virginia, you rose above the competition (see what I did there ha) and are the recipient of the coveted BISCUIT OF THE WEEK AWARD!

6 thoughts on “Biscuit of the Week!”

  1. Wow… I cant even imagine not helping a neighbour out.. Period.
    She is an absolute entitled and clueless person… You are right on Chance.

    Enjoying your blog.. Do miss your FB presence.

  2. Pingback: More Than Just Cancel Culture – Surrounded by Biscuits

  3. She is an over paid person who has no clue of
    Reality. I lived in a city in Indiana and helped my neighbor all the time. Anytime it snowed me or my daughter shoveled his driveway as he was recovering g from major cancer surgery and going through chemo and radiation. His family had dropped him off at home to die. Not on my watch. Needless to say when I moved back closer to home he died six months later. No one to help him or take him to appointments. Cant see this biscuit of the week doing anything like this in her future. I bet her friends are all in her head as well. Great choice on the biscuit of the week. Love your articles.

  4. I had to reread the headline again, I thought it stated “Bitch of the Week” instead of “Biscuit of the Week” I can’t believe someone would be worried about how to repay a kindness. BTW, did you get the part about her traveling to France as a teenager— good grief, very entitled person.

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